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February 03, 2010

never bully me

It’s not my nature to be mean. A lot of people say that I’m gentle, kind and patient (so I say). Whenever I face wicked personalities, most of the time I just stay where I am, stare on the floor and keep quiet. There are so many times that I wish I could execute what my heart is telling me: show wrath. But I find myself silent as a sleeping person, kind and harmless as a puppy. It’s just who I am. And it’s me ever since I’ve got common sense. Sometimes I commend myself for showing self-control, that way I have shown respect and I save friendship and ill-judgment. But many times I find scolding myself for showing how weak and coward I am. And I hate the fact that people are already abusing you because they know you won’t get mad. Still I know that things have its limitations. A container no matter how huge it is could still be filled. When I was in high school, I had a classmate who treated me so bad. The sadder fact about it was that I didn’t even do her any wrong and I was highly sure about it. Then I realized that she did it because she felt superior over me, thus she thought she had the position to degrade me. Yet in what sense? For sure, not in terms of beauty (Please, don’t let me elaborate it). Not even in terms of intelligence, she’s not even included in the top 10 while I was the top 2 in our batch. Well, hell if she thought she’s rich because they’re not. And was I poor to be treated like that (but then again, our status in life doesn’t indicate on how we should be treated by others)? Whatever her reasons were, I never have the chance to know them. So that was her, bullying me here & there until she’s satisfied for that day and another bullying session the next day. My reaction? Simple, speechless on the outside and bitterness within. I wanted to stop her but I couldn’t find ways to do so because I am constrained by who I am. Until one day, she said something that I was poked to realize that enough is enough. This was what happened: I was buying food at our canteen and then she came around together with one of our girl classmates. Beside me, she suddenly talked to me, “Jill, tomorrow is already my birthday and Sheena (our classmate) is invited. Don’t hope that you will be invited because I will never do that.. (laughing)”, then add how she delivered the piece. Pathetic! Just then I was aware that my patience has already been filled.. And I promised to myself that the next time she’ll bully or insult me, she’ll see the side of me I rarely open. Yeah , I’m kind and patient and can really be manipulated but I’m no dumb, no martyr either. So the next time I knew, I had already been assertive to every words she’s throwing upon me. Every time she bullied and insulted me I gave it back to her and she ended up silent as a sign of defeat because she can’t counter my witty simple bullies. Then several days came that I observed that she’s not bullying or insulting me anymore, because I’m not the same person she thought I was. I know that I had been mean and that was bad. But if that’s the only way to straighten her crooked attitude then bring it on! I never had regrets instead I felt so fulfilled because I had proven that time that we can really overcome our weaknesses. We want not to tolerate those disgusting happenings in our life and we have to step out from our comfort zones to push it away. Folks, there are simple laws of life and they include no bullying and no insult to other people. I hope we could do that because we don’t want others holding grudges against us. We have to respect each one whether we are above them or below them. Respect doesn’t go with conditions, it is unconditional. It is everybody’s right. Lastly, I can guarantee you that I’m a kind person who always seeks peace. Just don’t mess up with me because I’m gonna clean it up. Thank you. (smile)

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