June 25, 2011

my kpop music story

I've been officially listening to kpop music for almost a year now. My friend Nisseth has exposed me to it and she has helped me change my notions about kpop. If you didn't know, I was despising that music before. For me, it was just as bad as Filipino novelty songs void with meaning and sense. How could you appreciate such songs when all you understand are, "I want nobody, nobody but you', "I don't care.. eh eh eh er", "Sorry, sorry, sorry", "You better run, run, run, run, run". I didn't understand people get loco about it especially my sister who loved to talked about Super Junior summer of last year. One of the reasons we listen to songs is because we appreciate or love the lyrics and we can relate to it. Apparently, I can't do that to kpop since I don't understand the language. And second, the melody of the kpop songs I heard before are not of my liking. So I said, "I love Korean series and movies but their pop music won't win me over."

Then I met Nisseth, who is my roommate for 3 consecutive semesters now. I guess she's the only friend that I've known who is so into Korean stuff. She showed me music videos of different groups but I didn't fall. My belief was still intact until she shared to me the Super Junior's No Other. I was mesmerized by the melody. I was struck by how cute the members are especially Siwon. And in general the video is a temptation to watch over and over again. That said music video was the instrument for me to reconsider my views about kpop music. I realized, even though I'm a total fool about the lyrics there are still reasons to appreciate the song: the melody, the singers and most especially its video.

I have now collections of kpop songs and videos. Regularly, I watch the videos to soothe my day and I listen to the songs since they give me a calming effect. They are my comfort stuff.

I never was a fan of a particular group. Although I like many of Super Junior's songs, I don't consider myself as a total fan. I dislike some of its members especially Heechul. I also like Shinee but I don't like Taemin. Yet just recently I find myself appreciating and loving this new group which debuted last April 2011, B1A4. For the first time, I like every members. Still, the level of how I like them differs. Again, Nisseth was the one who introduced to me to this group. (Oh no, you don't know how much updated that friend of mine to the happenings of Korea's entertainment.) 

I love B1A4 and I'll follow their journey towards universal fame. :))
Funny it is, B1A4 is named after their blood types. :D CNU by the way reminds me of Hero Angeles, maybe because of his long hair.

Jinyoung is my most favorite one.. Gaad! He is so cute. 

Here's their epic music video:

June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day Papa

I know that you won't be able to read this post anytime soon or maybe never. I could have just given you a letter telling you how much thankful I am to have you as my father than write something here knowing that you won't be able to read it. Well, I will just send you endearing text messages and 'I love you' for  today. I am a person coward and shy to say in front of you the things I always wanted to say. Yet in this place I get the courage to say what I should have said long before. So I hope one day you can read this one, for you to know what my heart speaks which my mouth always keeps mum about.

I'm Sorry
  • I'm sorry for I always disagree with your ideas, opinions, comments and the like. I always don't want to give you the pleasure that I acknowledge that you're right. There's something in me that wants to simply go against your ideas. Maybe if you could talk kindly and if you stop your commanding voice like Hitler, I think there's no problem for me to agree with you. You have a great mind, Pa. Sorry for not telling you that personally. Sometimes I wonder why you did not become a lawyer because you've got good reasoning. 
  • I'm sorry for I always go to mama's side when the two of you are fighting. I'm sorry, I love mama more. Besides, you're emotionally stronger compared to her so you don't need a 'kakampi'.
  • I'm sorry for failing you. I know that you have great expectations to me in my academics and I haven't able to reach that standard. It's not over yet though, please be patient. And oh! i have to remind you that you have a good daughter and I think you should be thankful with that. I don't engage in pre-marital sex and get pregnant. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't drink alcohol. I don't take drugs. I don't smoke. 
  • I'm sorry for not being affectionate to you as I am with mama. You are not affectionate  to me either so I think you are okay with that.
  • I'm so sorry for hating you last year. I understand you now. You got mad at me not because you hated me but because you were hurt. I'm really sorry Pa for hating you.. :''''{
Thank You
  • Thank you for your hard work.
  • Thank you because you are not a smoker.
  • Thank you because you are not a drunkard.
  • Thank you for loving mama to the nth power. I know that you loved her first.
  • Thank you for being such a cool father. You were the one who taught me how to play chess and solitaire. You played tong-its with me. In high school, we watched movies together while mama urged us to go to sleep because she thought it's already late when it's not 12 am yet. 
  • Thank you for your humor, you always make me laugh.
  • Thank you for your support. I remember my elementary and high school days, you hadn't disturbed me for me to do this and that because you saw me studying, when in fact, I was just pretending for me to escape executing household chores. Opppsieee...
  • Thank you for being selfless. Your wants don't come first, it is always ours.
  • And lastly, from the bottom to the top of my heart, thank you for your love Pa. I love you.
Happy Father's Day.

June 18, 2011

the celebration isn't over yet, Congrats Dallas!

"For the first time in franchise history, the Dallas Mavericks have won the NBA championship. And the MVP of this series, Dirk Nowitzki."

It feels amazing now that you know that nobody can ever take this away from us again. And for one year we're the best team that is out there. It feels amazing. -Dirk Nowitzki

I know that I have celebrated much about Dallas Mavericks winning the NBA finals. I am not over it yet, especially after watching this video which my sensitive eyes excreted tears of joy. 

My mama always mocks me if I'm overreacting into something I watched on TV. I remember that time Hero Angeles got the SCQ's Grand Questor title and I told it to her. She just said, "Do you get a share of the price he received? No? Then why do you give a damn?" (she said something like that, promise). I was like, "What the hell, kill joy." So I don't bother to tell this thing to my mother. I know that she doesn't care... But I cannot stop myself to celebrate with them even though I don't get a trophy, money, a "thank you for supporting me" from Nowitzki or Terry or anything like that because this kind of thing makes me happy.. I'm talking about happiness here. So I don't care if people couldn't understand me, as long as I understand myself.hahaha..

I am not actually an avid NBA games follower. Actually, I only started watching this summer. My favorite was not Dallas, it was Oklohoma City Thunder then because of Kevin Durant. I was even pissed off when the Mavericks won the Western Conference against the Thunders. But when the finals came when you only have to choose between the Dallas and Miami, I chose Dallas though Miami's coach is a half-Filipino. Then you might be asking why, because for sure there are reasons. So here are the following:

1.) Nowitzki has a very impressive shooting skill. Gosh, he is such a shooter!
2.) I hate Lebron James' aura. I see a swagger in him. I don't like it. 
3.) Mavericks lost the championship against the Heat last 2006. I have a thing for the losers. So I wanted them to win this time.
4.) Before the finals, statistics showed that Miami Heat has the big chance to win it. I sided with the Mavericks to screw that statistics. hahaha..
5.) I wanted the Mavericks to win to at least comfort myself that the Thunders lost to the champion, not a runner-up..

June 13, 2011


There were lots of things that happened to me these past few days.

They were not interesting. They were just exhausting and energy draining.

I'd like to share my experience when I queued on an estimated 100-meter line for getting a slot in Stat 101.

It is really apt that my university, University of the Philippines (UP) is also jokingly called University of Pila (queue).  We do that a lot here. Getting an admission slip for checking-in in the dormitory, paying for the tuition and other fees, asking for pre-advising and many more are mostly done with queuing.

What is more problematic about queuing to get a subject is that your effort might be put in vain. You see, when you get there, there's no guarantee that you will be able to get a slot. You could wait for hours and find out that they can't enlist one more student.

I queued there for more than three hours.. Three hours is like three years when you're just standing by yourself with no friend to talk to. For those long hours that I'd been there which left me nothing to do but stand and wait, made me think about WAITING.

Waiting is one of the most difficult things to do especially when we talk about great expanse of time. But what hurts the most is to find out that you have waited for someone/something for NOTHING.

That was what I was worried about as I waited for my turn...what if there's nothing left for me? I didn't mind waiting even for one whole day as long as there's an assurance that I'll be going to get the subject. But waiting for something that can possibly never come is terrifying.. :( And you couldn't avoid to regret the time you spent waiting for it.

Now I understand the Air Supply's song: "I can wait forever, if you'll say you'll be there, too." I was critical about that song before. You'll wait for that person whether he'll be there or not because you love him. You don't tell him that he should be there, too. I thought that was just bullsh*t. But now, I believe it is foolish to wait for someone who told you beforehand that he couldn't be there. Then it's also not a wise idea to wait and you knew there's a chance that he can't make it. :(

Fortunately to me, I was able to get a slot. I almost not got it but who cares, I did get one at the end. :D The wait is worth it.

I'm going to experience more of waiting in the future. I just hope that I can determine which ones are worth the wait... You know, I don't want to wait for NOTHING.

June 08, 2011

adoption issue

Have you ever been asked by your younger sibling if he/she is a real (biological) child of your parents? As for me, I was. It happened one sunny morning last summer when my sister and me were alone at home. She wore a downcasted look while we ate our no-rice breakfast. With a very serious voice, she asked me (originally in Cebuano), “Ate, I'm aching to ask you this question a long time now. Please don't lie to me. After I've known the truth about kuya, I think there's a lot of things about this family that I don't know.. Am I just adopted?” After listening to her speech, I couldn't help but laughed and I said to myself, “ Oh heaven's gate! Where did she get that?” It was for me the stupidest question she ever said because I know without a slightest doubt that she's pa's and ma's biological daughter. I told her, “No! They are your real parents. Come on! Why did you think that they're not?” She got one and only evidence, a thing that my father said to her few years ago. His statement to my sister was this, “Your surname is supposed to be Mapalo and not Gulles”. And that sentence only means one thing for her, she's an adopted one.

The problem with her is that she didn't ask why. She just received the fact without asking for an explanation from my father. She created her own, unfortunately, a wrong one. Another problem is that my father relayed the fact to her differently compared to how he said it to me when I was in Grade 4: “Our last name is supposed to be Mapalo.” Papa used 'our' but he switched it to 'you' when he talked to Joy. So my sister was kind of freaked out because papa's usage of 'you' apparently meant one thing, she's the only one in the family whose surname is supposed to be Mapalo. Nevertheless, she should have asked which will clear things up. Yes, we could've brought with us a Mapalo surname which I thank my great grandmother for she didn't let it happen. You see, Mapalo in Cebuano means big head, so I'm spared being bullied by my last name (no offense to all Mapalos out there). Grandfather's mother is Gulles so that's my great grandmother. Great grandmother was just a mistress or you know, not a legal wife to a Mapalo great grandfather. Since she was not a legal wife, she has the choice to name his son a Mapalo or a Gulles. Maybe she was mad that time with my great grandfather because she used her last name to her son (now, I'm making a story to explain why she eventually used Gulles. Hehe). That's just it. There's no adoption issue to my sister.

It really was funny for me that my sister did doubt if we are her real family. I myself can prove to her that she is ours because I can still remember the days my mother was conceiving, expecting, then delivering her to the world. I can also remember the time mama surprised me and my brother that she was pregrant. We were totally happy. Yet brother wanted it to be a baby boy while me, well obviously, wanted it to be a girl. When my mama was sent to the hospital because her stomach with a 9-month old baby inside was already aching, me and my kuya were left at home. Did my sister even know that we tasted our first and last painful, really excruciating beating from papa by using his belt on the date she was born? Papa was really mad at us because he knew from my tactless auntie that we left our house opened inviting burglary to play with our neighbor. What made him more angry was he left a big amount of money there .. It wasn't stolen though. Still we weren't saved from his rage. And we received all that pak! Pak! Pak! While we were kneeling, crying and begging papa to stop. Mama said she was worried while she was still confined in the hospital because she saw us the next day filled with bruises especially on our legs. I think little sister never knew I remember a lot of things while we were expecting her to come out from mama's womb, because if she did she wouldn't question where she really came from.

Jessa Joy is my real sister and it is one of the few things I am surest about in this world. I was there you know and I remember it vividly though I was only a four-year-old kid. But crazy things could happen. I think about it and there's a 2% chance that she's right that she's not my real sister if and only if these 3 wild scenarios happened:

  1. I call this scenario as the Mara Clara-like Incident. Like the famous Filipino teleserye, Mara Clara, Joy-Joy might not be mama's child because there's this lunatic person who switched my real sister to Joy. Then what would be his reasons? I don't know, maybe he was just a crazy person who escaped from a mental hospital.
  2. My real sister might have been dead right after she was born. Then mama was in unaffable depression that the nurse felt pity towards her that she offered to give to my parents a baby who was left in the hospital by her clueless mother. My parents then accepted and they didn't tell the truth to me because it will just make me sad. Plus they don't want that the child would grow up being bullied by us just because she's not our real sibling.
  3. A young relative of ours got pregnant out of wedlock or this, a relative of ours who has many children got pregnant again, went to my mama and asked for her help to adopt her child in her womb. Mama got excited about rearing the child and she wanted that people will never know that she's just adopted. So she pretended even to me that she's pregnant and put something on her stomach to make it bulge just like how pregnant moms look. If this kind of scenario happened, I would say that mother made an excellent act. She looked like one and the object she put between her stomach and her dress never did fall or looked awry.

Those three scenarios could happen no matter how close it is to rarity. Yet I don't buy any of them.


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