February 09, 2012

How Long Will This Fangirling Last?

One of the things that I observed about myself is that liking something/someone expires. Some would last long, like years, but they would definitely be gone. The very first time that I found myself fangirling was when Meteor Garden, a Taiwanese television series, came into the picture. That was the first time that I really got crazy over a celebrity that Jerry Yan (Dao Ming Si) was all I wanted to talk about both in school and in our home. That time, I thought that my liking would always be intense. But now, if I see his pictures, the fire within for him has already been dead. I still see him as a hottie, charming person, but the superb fangirling for him left my system.
I remember, I would hastily go back home from school so that I won't miss anything on Meteor Garden. There was even a time that I got furious to my mother because she ordered me to go to the market minutes before the show will start to air. I was desperately pleading to her that I would just go after the show will end. It got me really frustrated when she didn't give me the favor. I went to the market grudgingly, almost crying thinking that I would miss several scenes. I liked Dao Ming Si first then followed Jerry Yan himself. I fell in love with his character in Meteor Garden that I eventually liked the person portraying it. Although he was really annoying, being that mean, selfish and boastful, it melted my heart the way how much he loved San Chai.

I engaged in arguments in school saying that Jerry Yan was better than Vic Zhou. I bought pictures of him and put it on my room's wall. I also purchased small-sized pictures and laminated them, and used them as key chains/holders. And lastly, I daydreamed of him. I am always a daydreamer. On that time that Jerry Yan occupied my heart, I imagined that I watched his concert and while he was singing, he saw me from the stage. He would stop from singing while staring at me, because the 'eureka' moment has finally arrived in his life. Then he would point at me and say, "I like you." Hahaha! Silly I was, I know!

The ultimate fangirling experience of my life happened because of Hero Angeles. I was crazy, super-duper crazy over him. My fangirling of Korean celebrities now does not compare of how much I adored Hero Angeles before. My family and high school classmates could testify to it. One of my classmates even told me this, "You act like he is everything to you, does he even know you exist?", as I became obsessed of him. I was hurt about that bitter truth, but I didn't care if he knew me or not as long as I was happy.

I didn't miss watching any episodes of Star Circle Quest. Wait, I think I missed one when there was a black out in our place. I voted for him every week (SCQ HERO to 2366) so that he won't be eliminated. I was even bitter to Sandara because she always got the texter's choice award except that one time that Hero became number one. When the grand finals came, I spent a big amount of load voting for him. And when he was declared the grand questor, the tears came welling from my eyes. And I told myself, "My Hero made it,huhuhu." When he won, it was as if I won too.

I was always in front of the tv. I just didn't want to miss anything of his appearances on different shows whether they were short or long. I watched his movies, were they 3 or 2? I daydreamed and dreamt of him. Yes, dream, which showed that he lived even in my subconsciousness.  I subscribed to his daily texts. I didn't mind P2.50 will be deducted from my load everyday as long as I'd know what he's been up to during that day.

I saw him in person when I went to Cagayan de Oro City to take the UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test). Luckily, they had a mall tour minutes after we just arrived in the said city. I was really happy that time. No words couldn't express how much delighted I was seeing him in person. When I found out that I passed UPCAT after several months, my guy classmate joked that I passed because I saw Hero a day before I took the test. I got inspired big time, he said. LOL, pwede.

When he left ABS-CBN, that was the time that the fever went gradually low. Plus when I joined a Christian organization, the temperature totally went to zero.

Nothing is constant. Everything changes.

Now I wonder, when will this craze over INFINITE end?

I would say that it won't end because I'm going gaga over them now.. But I know better than myself, the feeling would change, the fondness would be gone in the future.

Fangirling is just a phase that is bound to be replaced by something later on in life.

Well, maybe not for me? Let's see.
Only time could tell.

1 comment:

Diane Writes said...

Hello jill-yan! :) thank you for following my blog. A new follower never fails to make me happy. I hope you won't regret following me :) i was also a huge fan of the Meteor Garden series. I would hurry home to catch the episode back in college. But just the same, after the series, my interest with them faded. I had a cousin who works in Taiwan on the time when the series was airing in the Philippines and I kept asking her about them, as if it would really matter LOL when i was given the chance to visit Taiwan, I remember my dead obssession too.. Wala lang...sometimes it makes you smile din whenever you remember your old crazy habits :D


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