March 28, 2012
terrified is the word
..for my academics.
I'm terrified to the point that as I was crossing the street earlier to go to my college to take a final exam, I was thinking that it would be fine for me to be hit by a vehicle and be dead. Maybe then this misery would end. For sure, there will be no college on the life after this life. I'm terrified for the result of my final exams of my two major subjects. I may have not done my best to perform well, but God knows how much I tried.
I'm terrified to the point that I woke up from a nightmare last Sunday, it was the first time after a long time. The scary dream was about a killer resident here in my dormitory. She was going to kill us all! Good thing, I was able to escape through the fire exit when she already found us. Then I woke up, it was 10am. The nightmare just showed how terrified I am inside. The fear penetrated to my dreams, that was what my professor in PI100 said. And I believe him.
Irony runs through my veins. I considered death earlier but afraid as hell to die base from the bad dream that I had. Well, maybe because I'm just really terrified, to the point that i really do not know what I'm gonna do. All I know is that I want to survive this academics of mine.
*sorry for the personal posts lately. After all, this blog was born for the exhaustion of my emotions.